Monday, January 02, 2006
My New Year's Resolutions
I've been contemplating what I was going to resolve for the New Year. Going to the gym more often was the obvious one. I need a way to relieve stress and anger at certain people I work with. I think this could be the solution. Afterall, endorphines make people happy and happy people don't commit murder, right? And I'm assuming they don't quit their jobs in a fit of ridiculousness, either. So, the gym is an obvious one. But, I didn't have much more on my list of things to resolve to do. I'm not going to "resolve to find a boyfriend" because I generally find such resolutions stupid. Why would you resolve to do something like that if such a resolution could involve you settling for something you don't really want? So, that's out.
Then, last night, I woke up from the midst of a dream I can't actually remember. But, I do remember waking up and thinking, "I don't know if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my life." So, I'm resolving to figure out what I want to do with my life. I realize this is something I should have resolved to do sometime between the age of 16 and now, but I haven't. I mean, I've always had general ideas of what I wantd to do. I knew I was moving in a direction, but generally, I always thought that I should stay open to the possibilities of what life and God presented. I didn't need an "ultimate" thing to do. A life goal. I knew I would change the world. The details . . . well, those could be worked out anytime. But, I"m now realizing that I actually need specific steps if I'm going to change the world. Now, I need to figure out what those steps are.
This is going to involve quite a bit of research on my part: the benefits and limitations of the various degrees I've considered; the benefits and limitations of transactional vs. litigation; the benefits and limitations of staying within the legal profession; the benefits and limitations of working for the government or an international organization or an organization in an international location; and even the benefits and limitations of staying in New City vs. returning to either Home City or Cincinnati vs. moving to a New New City. So, my resolution is to research all that and make a decision about my next step by this time next year (if I haven't already made a decision about the first next step by then). That doesn't mean that I'll make that next step by this time next year. I may not make that step until two years from now. But, I'll know what that step is. I'll be working towards a goal, whether that goal is simply to save us long enough to go back to grad school without incurring great debt or that goal is to work towards partnership.
But, I need a goal. So, that's my resolution. I'm going to figure out what it is, very specifically, that I'm supposed to do with my life. Keep your fingers crossed and your prayers going - I'm going to need 'em!
Then, last night, I woke up from the midst of a dream I can't actually remember. But, I do remember waking up and thinking, "I don't know if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my life." So, I'm resolving to figure out what I want to do with my life. I realize this is something I should have resolved to do sometime between the age of 16 and now, but I haven't. I mean, I've always had general ideas of what I wantd to do. I knew I was moving in a direction, but generally, I always thought that I should stay open to the possibilities of what life and God presented. I didn't need an "ultimate" thing to do. A life goal. I knew I would change the world. The details . . . well, those could be worked out anytime. But, I"m now realizing that I actually need specific steps if I'm going to change the world. Now, I need to figure out what those steps are.
This is going to involve quite a bit of research on my part: the benefits and limitations of the various degrees I've considered; the benefits and limitations of transactional vs. litigation; the benefits and limitations of staying within the legal profession; the benefits and limitations of working for the government or an international organization or an organization in an international location; and even the benefits and limitations of staying in New City vs. returning to either Home City or Cincinnati vs. moving to a New New City. So, my resolution is to research all that and make a decision about my next step by this time next year (if I haven't already made a decision about the first next step by then). That doesn't mean that I'll make that next step by this time next year. I may not make that step until two years from now. But, I'll know what that step is. I'll be working towards a goal, whether that goal is simply to save us long enough to go back to grad school without incurring great debt or that goal is to work towards partnership.
But, I need a goal. So, that's my resolution. I'm going to figure out what it is, very specifically, that I'm supposed to do with my life. Keep your fingers crossed and your prayers going - I'm going to need 'em!
